Sigh. So, it seems I'll be going to another party tomorrow night.
My anxiety is normally somewhere in the yellow-orange on the meter, this cranks it up to dark red.
-_-
Panic attacks, here I come.
Anxiety meter:
Blue: Perfectly fine
Teal: What could go wrong?
Green: Everything went better than expected
Yellow-green: This could be a problem..
Yellow: Don't make any sudden movements
Yellow-orange: Constant 360 and perimeter checks, anti-sociability
Orange: Quick breaths, muscles tense. On the edge.
Red-orange: Constantly looking at door, tense, on edge, easily startled.
Red: Startled by everything, flinch at any movement/noise, heart beating out of chest.
Dark Red: Digging nails into palms, nervous sweat, jumpy as heck.
Black: (never actually got there, but this is what I imagine it would be like) Eyes wide, sweating, pale, heart racing, scream at sudden noises/movement, shaking, completely antisocial, fetal position.
PEOPLE MAKE ME NERVOUS.
ASFJGNAFSBVCAD;FLJGHB;SLKEGJAF.
I have panic attacks a lot and seeing people and knowing that they're looking at you and judging and rejecting you just.. aaah I can't stand it.
My anxiety attacks happen nearly weekly, and I can't ever get used to them. ;-;
GAH.
I can't stand looking at all my watchers because I know you're each individual people and you judge me and hate me and have your own opinions about everything I do, watching for any mistakes. If you were all in a room with me I would probably be somewhere close to Dark Red on the meter. Dark Red or Black.
Bye now.
(._.)
-
Mood:
Panic -
Listening to: No Place Like Home - Marianas Trench
-
Reading: this journal
-
Watching: you
-
Eating: Nothing
-
Drinking: Pepsi